Space

While I was teaching Claire the "order of operations" (My Dear Aunt Sally, etc.) this afternoon, the poor thing had a break down. I was sure that it wasn't over whether you should first multiply or divide; it took a little prodding to figure out what was going on. For her privacy's sake, I won't mention everything her little heart is worried about, but one thing really stuck out.

Space.

The girl is desperate for some space, literally. It made me think of The Secret Garden's Mary Lenox who wanted a garden of her own. Somewhere secret that she could love, tend and escape from her unhappiness.

From Claire as she lay next to me sobbing:

I need privacy. I know, me too.

I'm tired of having Rose mess up the room and ruin all of my things. I know, me too.

I need a place I can go where no one will bother me while I try to think about things. I know, me too.

I can't always be good. Sometimes I need to get away from people until I feel better. I know, me too.

I don't have anywhere where I can have peace. I know, me too.

The girl and I are so much alike. I feel for her and my heart breaks that I can't manage to find a good solution. There is no way for her to have her own room. Our house is small, full of people and there is no where to go. Outside, we are surrounded by neighbors and there's nowhere to walk. There are people everywhere and there's nothing I can do to change that.

My heart too desires peace, quiet, privacy, solace. As a mother of three, I'm not going to get much of that, but I pray that one day, we will have a home that will be more compatible to that desire.

Space.